Bits and pieces
by Kokis
Summary: John is writing letters to deal with the loss of his best friend, Sherlock. Written for ten-songs-challenge. SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2!


_Written for the Ten-songs-challenge._

_**WARNING**: _**HEAVY SPOILERS**_ for Season 2 episode 3! SPOILERS STARTING IMMEDIATELY! _

_Ten-songs-challenge: Set your musicplayer to "shuffle/random" and listen to ten songs. Write a drabble/ficlet/paragraph for each song. You are only allowed to write for as long as the song is playing and the text must be inspired by the music. _

_Story written from John's pov after the fall. I imagine he's writing letters to Sherlock or something... _

_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo_OoOoOoOoOo__________

The scientist - Coldplay

The radio is playing "the scientist" and I cant help but to think of you. I miss you, you know. Even though you were a sanctimonious, arrogant, rude, annoying, royal pain in the ass 98 percent of the time I still miss you. You came to be my friend when I needed one the most. It's been a year now though and somehow I've started to move on. It's slow and tedious and I don't really know which way to turn sometimes when the corners are bending out of reach. I miss your way of always pushing me ahead whichever way you thought suited _you_ the best and never gave me any choice but to run after you to make sure you wouldn't get yourself killed or something stupid like that. Guess I failed that one, huh? I'm sorry about that but I'm trying to make it up to you the best I can even if it probably means nothing at all right now and even though you will never notice. I'm just hoping that maybe one day you'll be proud of me from up there, maybe for once things can be the other way around even if it's only for pretend.

Chasing tornadoes – Plan Three

I have a plan now. I know what I will do. It was always about the chase with you wasn't it? The thrill. The adrenaline. The race. I will keep on chasing the best I can. I know I said I wouldn't. That I would try to forget everything that was us whatever we were, everything that reminded me of you but I've tried and I can't so what's the point in fighting it anymore? I'll stop wrestling myself and just run. I'll run like hell down the streets of London, I'll chase down every criminal, every badguy, every offender, everyone you would have wanted us to chase if you were still here. I will carry on our legacy even if I'll have to run twice as fast without you to pull me in the right directions. I'll run and I'll never fucking stop again.

Shatter - Feeder

Bumps in the road, or "grit on the lens", as you would say. Whatever. I suppose everyday can't be a victory. Every competition can't be won. Even you made mistakes sometimes so I'm telling myself it's okay to break sometimes. I'm staying hopeful though. I won't let this break me for good. I'll lie low for now, mend my wounds and when I come back I'll be even stronger. Even better. One last miracle. I'll do it for you like you never got around to do for me.

Come what may – Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor

I have a girlfriend now. Mary. She's a nice girl, maybe you'd like her too. At least I hope you would, though I doubt it. We've been seeing each other for a few months now, that 's why I've been kinda slow on the writing but I'll try to get better. Anyway, she made me watch Moulin Rouge yesterday. Christ, what a total waste of two hours of the rest of my life... Kept wondering what you would have thought of it. Kinda scared me a little... I remember the time when I talked you into having a Bond-movie marathon and you ended up throwing food on the screen and leaving the room because you got mad with the plot-writer. Somehow it was amusing watching movies with you even though you always ruined all the mysteries in the thrillers and kept disturbing me with your snarky remarks and pointless grumbles. If I ever see you again I'll make you watch Moulin too just to watch you suffer for a while like I had too. I'll tie you to the chair If I have to and don't think I won't manage. Would serve you right, you prick.

Pilots – Tiger Lou

It rained last night. Just like that day so long ago that still feels like only yesterday... Me and Mary sat at her window watching aeroplanes go by and I wondered what it would feel like to fly through the air myself down to the stony pavement five floors below... Wondering what flew through your head those seconds you were soaring through those 120 feet of air towards infinity. What were you thinking... Why did you do it? Why didn't you tell me? Why did it have to end like that? I have so many questions that will never be answered. You left me here with a ton of holes to fill but nothing to fill them with. I only make them deeper when I try to cover them up. Can't you at least give me a clue? That wouldn't be more than right. A sign? Anything? I don't understand...

Coffee and cigarettes – Michelle Featherstone

Two years and it still hurts. How much time is it supposed to take to heal those proverbial wounds? I want it to be over now. I can't handle this. This... emotional roller-coaster. Some days I'm fine, I'm strong and determined and moving on but some days, these days, I just... I don't know. I just cant do this without you after all. I've tried everything now. I've tried getting rid of your things (I hid them, I can never really throw them away for real, not the only remains I have of my best friend, I just don't want to be reminded everyday) but it didn't help either. I'm running out of options here. I tried drinking, then I tried not drinking, I tried girls. Lots of them too. Mary? Heh, she didn't last long... didn't want to be the third party I guess. Said It was always about you anyway. She couldn't take that and I don't blame her. Then I tried, god knows, everyhting. I even tried what I found in your secret stash in your drawer by the bed but it only hurt me more. I can't believe that shit used to calm you down. It only made me a mess. So that's what I am now. A fine mess... I still miss you so bad...

Stupid girl - Garbage

We caught a criminal today. "We" being me, Lestrade and the rest of Scotland yard. Can't tell why the always want my help. I'm not you, I will never be. I'm not nearly that clever, I'm just desperate. Anyway, she was incredibly clumsy. Really got herself into a bloody booby-rap. Honestly, some people do amaze me in all their simplicity. I think I'm starting to understand your exasperation by "ordinary people" a little. Some of them are just too dumb for their own good. And this girl, was no exception. Stupid, stupid people. See, I'm even sounding like you now! Great, I'm turning into a sociopath. Great work on moving on, John. Really.

Shedevil - Blowsight

Time to get a grip. Harry called last night, threatening to put me on rehab for obsessive behavior if I didn't shape up soon and she's right. Remember a year back I said I'd make you proud of me? Guess I've strayed quite a bit from that path now. Time to get back on it again and do something with my life. I went to the yard and offered my services without complaining. I have to stop sulking like a kid. I am thirty nine years old and I ain't getting any younger. I'll join you soon enough but first I need to earn my place beside you again. I won't leave things this way. I'll fix them. For sure.

Anthem - Zebrahead

Looking back at my life. What has it turned into? This is not exactly what I expected while growing up. Back then I wanted to be a pirate, an explorer or maybe a doctor. I managed the doctor part alright but after that I managed to get myself into a war. Talk about duality. Saving some people and killing some others in the same breath. Afghanistan nearly killed me too in more ways then just bullet-woulds, aching shoulders and PSD. It was literally hell on earth, but then there was you. My lifeline, who turned my life back on the right path again after I had strayed too far of the map. I've done bad things with you as well but we've made considerably more good. I guess my life turned out an okay anthem after all.

Sexual Healing - Ben Harper

Three years, four months and nineteen days and I've had enough of lies. Of lying to myself, of keeping secrets, of beating around the bush about my thoughts and feelings about a man who's been dead for years and won't give a shit no matter what I say or think here. So here goes; I love you, you fucking twat. Yeah, that's true. I know you say love is a waste or chemicals and a dangerous disadvantage but I don't care. Can't help how I feel anyway. It's not in a love-love kind of way, mind you. To be honest I don't know what it is I just know that you completed me. You healed me after I was reduced to a nervous wreck with a gun in a drawer and intent to use it on myself sooner rather than later. I had happy-pills I refused to take, I had shrinks and therapists who could never make me talk, and god knows whatnot I had but in the and It was you who healed me. You, the most broken, erratic, disturbed man I've ever met. The most human human-being I ever knew. The best and the wisest and all that crap. You. So thank you. I never told you that when you were alive, did I? Never really got around to it but I say it now and hope you somehow hear it up there. Thank you.


End file.
